Learn & Love Cooking

No doubt many ready to cook noodles, pastas, and other materials are available in the market but we (both men & women) should learn at least basic cooking. There is no substitute for simple home cooked food. These days when in majority of cases both husband and wife are working it’s all the more essential for husband  to help wife in the kitchen. About 50 years back girl students in schools were being thought cooking. It was one optional subject in which marks were given. But this subject was discontinued with the passage of time, as more & more schools became coeducational and girls also were not interested in learning cooking at school.

For our own health sake, let’s start learning at least basic cooking. It’s enjoying to cook at home & even more enjoying to eat home cooked food. Both boys & girls should be given some guidance by parents in this line.

Best of health to all

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POSTHOMOUSLY

I have often wondered how my known (and some unknown also) people will react when I die one day.
First my known ones. My relatives (except my children). I do not owe any thing to any one of them. I have never  even taken any favors or asked for any help (although most of them have generally been on sweet talking terms with me) from most of them. They will treat my death as a non event. It is just as night follows the day, or Monday follows Sunday. Nothing special about it. Some will however regret having to take some time out to be a part of the funeral rituals even though not having any thing to do on that day. Some will come up with reasonably good excuses about their inability to be available on that day.
Now coming to some unknown persons, like those living in the colony. I must admit I do not know all of them nor all of those living in our colony know me or my family in spite of the fact that I have my own house here for more than forty years now, thanks to my postings out of city and big city life culture and my less extrovert nature, some of my fellow colony persons just recognize my face as a familiar one but do not know me or at least this is what appears to me and vice versa. A couple them may just visit our home and ask how it happened. Was I ill or it was all of a sudden etc.
Now let us imagine the condition of those who have to manage the event in the house. I doubt any event management people undertake this activity. On the day of funeral so many things to arranged. On the day of bhog, or kryia etc. speaches to be made, lunch & tea etc. to be arranged. Stay for guests who come from distant places. I will have to write the speeches and will leave each speach with some money for the one who will read it.

My daughter if she is able to make it in time (because of her job etc.) from USA, will read (or speak after having read a couple of times,),  “My father was a very honest, simple living, self made man. He took good care of the family. I must have some special blessings of God that I had him as my father. My father was always ready to sacrifice his comforts for me etc. etc…….”.

All my near relatives who might be happy  inside will be pretending to be sad. Film makers can select actors from among them. Of all ages and both males and females will be there. I know one of my relative is a very good speaker. He is a very good speech writer also. I must start developing specially warm & sweet relations with him whatever be the costs.

My neighbor with whom I never had any love lost will say,  ” He was such a kind an helpful person etc…

I can go on writing on this subject but I know my readers  in the end will say, “What is new about this. We all know this will happen in our case also”

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LET THE SECRET REMAIN A SECRET

If a child wants to get something from his father all he/she has to do is to say to him ” Dad, I know your secret!”  Similarly he extract his/her reward from his/her mother.  God save the child if this trick is tried on an ‘uncle’. The chances are that the secret will be out and the child will come to know who is his/her real father.

These days both the partners in  a marriage are bold enough not to let a chance to enjoy sex outside marriage go by. In fact earlier also it was so, but with more %age of both partners working, the chances come to both of them easily and both having feelings of greater decree of independence, do not hesitate to dismiss their conscience and think of exercising ‘my choice’ , when ever a reasonable degree of secrecy is assured.

With topics like marital rapes under hot discussion these days, times are not far off when marriage may simply mean just living together.

So the children better be taught not to start exploring the secrets of their parents.

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MARITAL RAPE ! NO,

Sexual desire crops up in a male or female  irrespective of the desire of the partner to have it or not. Marriage means that one who takes initiative in asking for sex be shown reasonable degree of consideration and respect for his/her feelings. But in present day life style, particularly when both partners are working, and therefore have high degree of independence to exercise ‘ my choice ‘, the initiative taken by one is quite likely to be spurned or repeatedly not responded to by the other partner. Love, if at all there is any, doesn’t sustain long. And then there is either marital rape or other manipulated means to satisfy sexual desires.

I watched a TV debate (NDTV-We the People 26/04/2015) on the subject of making marital rape a criminal offense and wondered what will it come to if that happens. It will make a mockery of the institution of marriage. People will prefer paid for sex than getting married.

God save our countrymen  from such a situation.

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Present Day Life of A Married Man

                  With the passage of time, social & economic conditions, and even parameters of moral turpitude change in every society. Laws governing marriage & divorce also should be reconsidered from time to time, keeping the changed conditions of the society and the laws no longer considered delivering justice to all concerned in the marital disputes, should be repealed. New laws which ensure justice and dignity to both sides and help create an atmosphere in which one can perform to the best of one’s ability with dignity, should be considered by law makers and enacted by the parliament and the state assemblies. Only while working in a peaceful atmosphere can one contribute towards nation building.

Now a days with disputes cropping up rather quite early after marriage, between almost every other married couple, unhappy marriages are no longer exceptions. Incompatibility and hence the mental agony of both husband & wife (if they continue staying together) is prolonged to what appears to both as (an endless period of) the rest of their lives. None of the two are able to gather enough courage to call it a day, with prolonged court proceedings, and social pressure etc. always in their minds . Family courts are bloody jokes. They are hell bent to resolve what is simply unresolvable and pressurize both husband & wife to continue living together in a cesspool of toxic feelings towards each other till both are past their prime and are left brooding and philosophizing over what could hardly be called a  normal life.  

                  High time we made divorce easier, simpler, and not so much time consuming an affair. Misused sections like 498A etc. should go and both persons should be able to move on with life independently with only joint responsibility of children (if any born out of their wedlock) without much guilt of their earlier decision to marry.

                   My profound regret to those who may disagree with my views and I look forward to receiving theirs.

                   

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A DREADED PHENOMENON CALLED MARRIAGE

Shaadi is not always mubaark. I have felt the impulse to pick up  this line from some one else’s write up (without permission), as though for different reasons I also feel the same way. Even carefully considered most marriages yield only children, and no happiness and virtually no love is experienced all through. Marriage survives because none of the parties have the courage to call it a day at any given time. Both partners keep on taking shelter under a kind of wishful thinking giving themselves false hopes all their lives. Many marriages in India sustain even after the man and his family members have faced police and/or courts on the complaints of his wife and/or in-laws under section 498 A  etc. which in more than 93% of the cases prove to be false. With what feelings in heart such marriages are made to continue just to make it appear to the out side world a case of successful patch up is any body’s guess.

These days after marriage, most of the brides insist on and succeed in having a separate domestic establishment away from the interference of her in-laws, even where the husband may be partly or fully dependent on his parents and/or other family members or having a joint family business. But when it comes to filing a (most of times false and fabricated) complaint under various section of dowry act, particularly under section 498 A, names of all the family members of the husband are included in it.

I remember having read some where the following ‘humorously serious’ lines about marriage:

‘Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience’.

These lines surely do hold good for the present day ground situation.

Time is likely to come soon when, men will prefer live-in-relationship with facility of paid for sex over marriage. Live-in-relationship has been made legal, and the children from such live-in-relationships have also been given legal status by the supreme court of India. It is high time paid for sex is also made legal. Let us not pretend ignorance of the fact that sex is something, every healthy person in every part of the world desires and tries his best to indulge in it.

Having sex for money may appear to be a morally unethical act to some, but no dishonesty is involved in it.  However some degree of dishonesty is always there in every marriage. Even in case of a love marriage, where love has stood the test of time to some extent, It is often observed that after marriage love does not last long even if the marriage may last a bit.

In cases where both the partners are some time required to stay at different stations for a little longer periods, it will not be wrong to assume that this so called morally unethical but basically a natural act is being indulged in, even if to say, only once in a blue moon, by almost all the persons.

So let us admit that it is high time to have a re look at various laws including laws dealing with marriage, sex trade and the workers who are willingly in that trade.

With real regards to all who may disagree with my views and I hope to receive guidance from them.

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It is high time we realized it’s existence and faced it.

It is high time we faced it. The ground reality.

Many blogs written,  & twitter and face book  messages posted,  greetings exchanged etc. etc. Women’s Day celebrated. But has any thing changed?  No. Nothing has changed and nothing will change unless the ground realities change.  Banning BBC film did not mean anything to those who were interested in watching it. It was damn easy to watch it on net. I watched it ten times. There was nothing in it that called for a ban on it. It is more of  like a mirror shown to the society.

Problems related the issue  need to be addressed with a practical approach in mind.

First of all let us admit that every healthy adult person (even those who are yet to become adult), and those also who are even passed their prime, wants to indulge in it.

I may be allowed to come straight to the solution part of the problem.

First of all sex trade in India should be legalized with reasonable safeguards imposed. Even otherwise this trade exists in every metro, every city, every town, and even in many villages. The oldest profession of the world. Persons of every religion and faith indulge in it.  In some parts of the country, it is carried on under different garbs and permitted names given to such activities. The more forbidden the fruit, sweeter it tastes and higher the price it commands.  I may go to the extent of saying it that it is the need of the hour to make it available at reasonable price with reasonable dignity to persons of both the sexes. I doubt if there will be nonavailability of male sex workers or nonavailability of female sex pleasure seekers.

Men and women who want to join sex trade on their free will should be allowed to form unions/organisations and such bodies should be recognized by the governments both at center and state level. If it thought fit to leave it to states’ legislation, be it that way. In USA many states allow it, while some do not and a couple of states simply do not ‘bother.’

Let the sex workers earn an honest living and the entertainment & pleasure is affordable.

Debates in TV  channels and other fora have already taken place many times on the subject, but now it is high time for the parliament and state assemblies to take up serious debates on the issue.

Best wishes for all concerned.

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